What Should I Consider While Going Through A Divorce?

A divorce entails the breakdown of a marriage with no possibility of reconciliation, where spouses have lived separate and apart for at least one year; a spouse has committed adultery, or a spouse has been treated with physical or mental cruelty of such a kind as to render intolerable the continued cohabitation of the spouses. In such circumstances, one or both spouses seek a divorce alone or together which can include a child support order, spousal support order, or a parenting order, in addition to a division of family property.

The most common question from clients when dealing with a divorce is, “what is the first thing I need to think about?” My question in response is, “do you have children?” If yes, children always come first. If not, we move on to discuss other things that you should consider:

• Dealing with the shock and grief of separation. Reactions to separation can impact health and parenting ability, expose children to conflict, and affect employability, and ability to communicate with the former spouse. Recommend seeking the assistance of someone experienced with separations and speaking to a counselor.
• Protection from family violence. There are various ways to address safety concerns including restraining orders, and in more urgent circumstances “Emergency Protection Orders” which permit more options to address a spouse and/or child’s safety.
• Who gets to live in the family home? Spouses can continue to both live in the family home, separate and apart. One party cannot unilaterally change the locks to the family home. If children are involved, It is recommended that the parent maintaining primary care, should stay in the family home. Speak to a lawyer before taking any of these steps, or if you have been locked out of the home.
• Get your own bank accounts. To help reduce conflict and further solidify the date of separation, begin using separate bank accounts and redirect to your new account all personal automatic withdrawal payments and employment direct deposits. At this time, it can be beneficial to speak to a lawyer to determine the amount of any child support and/or spousal/partner support that should be paid.
• Savings, Investments and Debts. Do not move the funds to an account in your own name. Each spouse is entitled to all family property from the date of separation. Until joint debts are paid out or refinanced into only one spouse’s name, both spouses remain liable. Spouses are generally responsible for any debts which they incur after the separation, except in some rare circumstances. We recommend speaking to a lawyer to address how debts will be paid early on in your separation.
• Financial disclosure. A spouse should always exchange financial disclosure. The only way to calculate a division of family property, child support, or spousal/partner support is with disclosure of assets, debts, and income. Speak with a lawyer to discuss what documents are to be exchanged or the court procedure to compel a spouse to exchange financial disclosure.
• Serve or respond to court documents. To dissolve your marriage, it is necessary to start a court action by filing a “Statement of Claim for Divorce” (or “for Divorce and Division of Matrimonial/Family Property”). If you’ve been served, note the court location and the deadline to respond.
• Speak with a Family Lawyer and Alternative Dispute Resolution. If you plan on hiring a lawyer, it’s important to bring all of the court documents to them well in advance of any court deadlines. We always recommend parties consider a family dispute resolution process outside of court to attempt to resolve any matters in dispute, including negotiation, mediation and collaborative law.

Give us a call for an initial consultation meeting to review your key questions about your family matter and to discuss your options and next steps.  

‍